The Work Lady's Comedy Travels

Parasailing, jet skiing and snorkeling OH MY!!

2011-05-27T13:54:00.000-07:00

What a great month! I've had some really fun comedy shows and humor keynotes - from Massachusetts to Arizona and states in between. Some critical care nurses kicked it off early - they were a blast and I'd be happy to be in the ER with them any time. . .ok, not really, but if I HAD to go to the ER, they would at least make it a lot funner. I also got to have some fun with grocery store people (they weren't as large as I expected them to be - ha ha - I would be 3,000 pounds if I ran a grocery store) and apartment managers. . .my landlord was NEVER that much fun. . . plus a bunch more . . .

I also made it over to Cabo, Mexico for some fun in the sun. . .we did every thing from parasailing - in which i was NOT STRAPPED IN CORRECTLY. . .I'm on the left. In the U.S. they would NEVER have sent me up that way - I almost did some high diving into the water. . .luckily it was only 8 minutes.

And we did zip lining, snorkeling, dinner cruising, jet skiing and laying around with a frozen drink - a LOT of that actually - but we did get our exercise because we had to swim over to the bar!

What a great way to kick off the summer. . . my big challenge is to learn how to ride my motorcycle - I'd like to get it down to only 1 or 2 honking cars by the end of the weekend.

Have a great Memorial Day, and check out my animated video on YouTube - click on the link below!

The Funny Side of Working in an Office

Safe travels. ..

Jan
http://www.comedywriterblog.com/
http://www.theworklady.com/
http://www.comedyemcee.com/

2011-05-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

When I was 10 years old I told my parents that when I turn 16, I was going to buy a motorcycle, drive cross country from our house in Virginia to California and become a comedian. Well, I did it, albeit it took a little longer than I expected. I became a comedian in my 30’s, I moved to Los Angeles in my 40’s and just this week bought a motorcycle – in my . . oh, never mind! Yamaha 650 V-star for you bikers. I actually bought a motor scooter a couple years ago as a warm up… I bought it because that’s what happens when you wreck it on the test drive (true!). But I really did like it, and now I decided to move up, and my new goal is to now be able to get it into 1st gear without stalling . . . I’m sure it’ll happen. I went from 80 cc’s on the scooter to 650 cc’s. . more power baby!

My first ride this past Saturday was 2 hours and only one person yelled something at me. I’m pretty sure it was not that he liked my bike, but luckily between the engine noise and my helmet, I couldn’t hear him. I am having a problem with stalling out though. After trying repeatedly to get it into first gear, two 10-year-old boys asked me if I needed help. I said, that I’m fine, it’s just a new bike. They both gave the thumbs up and said “cooolll.” I’m not sure what type of help they could’ve given me. . .a ride on their handle bars.

ANYWAY.. . I’m off to ride this weekend. . .see my cool pics below!

Jan

http://www.comedywriterblog.com/

http://www.janfans.com/

http://www.comedyemcee.com/

Random Travels!

2011-04-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

Today's blog is about nothing in particular except random travels.. . .I'm getting more and more work on the east coast, which is great for frequent flyer miles, but not so great for my sleeping! I was just in D.C. doing my Finding the Funny in Communicaitons program (how to put humor into your business communications to get what you want) for some volunteer leaders, and it went great! They were very receptive to adding humor to their communications to get people to listen to them and get involved in their organization.

I also went to vegas - okay that was a few weeks ago. . .saw the sharks at Mandalay Bay, along with some cute fishes. . . though we didn't sleep with them. Get it? ha ha. . see why I'm a comedian. I met up with my sister & her family there. . .lots of fun - see a fish we met below. . .

Ok, I've also been in Pennsylvania for 2 different groups and right now I'm headed up to Monterey this weekend.. .for fun. No one wants me to speak (unless spoken to I guess). OH, and the best news. . .which I will elaborate on when i actually get some things squared away here. . .I passed the motorcycle DMV written test today and passed the driving part the other week (actually I took a class that allowed me to waive the driving part if i passed. . .and I did). I ALSO had to take part of the drivers written test today because CA wants people to - instead of just blanketly renewing their license. I guess since my picture is 11 years old, they want me to actually look like it! That's fine, except i didn't realize they were going to take it today. . .so I'm now stuck with a crappy picture AGAIN. More on the cycle next week. I actually bought one, but i can't pick it up yet . . .I'm very excited.

I'm in town (LA that is) all of next week and then off to the midwest for some fun programs and to hang out with Kent Rader. . .the co-star with me in the Baby Boomer Comedy Show. . .more on that later as well.

Have a great weekend.. . life is great!

Jan

http://www.comedywriterblog.com/

http://www.comedyemcee.com/

Hiking in Death Valley!

2011-03-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, my 2nd favorite (old) sport is hiking the national parks. . last week it was death valley where it actually SNOWED in the desert! Very cool.. .or FREEZING I might add. But we hit most all of the major hikes in the 2 days before the snow, and then did a few in-doorish type things for the snow days.

We went to see Scotty's Castle (below) . .a millionaire guy befriended Scotty and made him a castle. . long story, that just makes me wonder why things like that NEVER happen to me (millionaire befriending a comedian???).

AND we went to Death Valley Junction to the Amargosa Opera House (below) to see Marta Beckett. She moved there like a million years ago and fixed up an opera house so that she'd have a place to perform in. It was my 4th time there (Ron's 5th) and Marta still gets on stage once a week to do a show... though at 80+ years old, she actually did sit down theater (the opposite of standup comedy). We also stayed in the haunted motel .. something that needs fixing up. . .and we got room 9, which was the most "active." We met some ghost-busters who came in to our room at 3 a.m. to do a reading. And YES, we heard a ghost tell us to "get out."

If I did it right, I've got pictures up on Facebook of our experience. . .what a fun trip!

More later on the ghosts. . .oh, and by the way, if you didn't know, death valley is in Nevada. . .how do I know that. . . ???

Take care!

Jan

http://www.theworklady.com/

http://www.comedywriterblog.com/

http://www.janfans.com/

My new favorite sport!

2011-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

I went snowshoeing for the first time ever this past Sunday - WHAT A BLAST!! We (me, Diane and Sharon) went up a tram in Palm Springs to the top of the mountain where they had 3-4 feet of snow at least. There were tons of trails, and even though by my calculation there had to be at least 3000 people up there (tram holds 80, goes up every 10 minutes startign at 8 a.m.), we really didn't see many people at all. The day was gorgeous - it said 18 degrees, but it was definately warmer than that and no wind.

None of us had ever done this before, but it didn't take any instruction to figure out. . .it's just hiking with big pancakes on your feet. Now I've got a new sport that I can spend my $ on. . .though if you buy the shoes, you can probably snow shoe on mountains for free.

The tram in Palm Springs (not free!), was fun - it rotates around so you can see 360 as you go up and down the mountain. Click on the link above. . .they've got a webcam. We snow shoed for 3 hours and then had fries and beers in the cocktail lounge - we didn't go to the restaurant because as Sharon pointed out "cocktail lounge implies no kids!"

Okay, just thought I'd point out my fun weekend. I'm off to Death Valley at the end of the week. . .2 complete ends of the spectrum!

Jan

http://www.theworklady.com/

http://www.comedywriterblog.com/

http://www.janfans.com/

It's still freezing in the midwest! And more

2011-02-09T19:11:00.000-08:00

Okay, I experienced another "control" situation at the airport today. . .actually on my flight. I LUV Southwest airlines, but not today. I'm sitting in the exit row, and the flight attendant came by and forced all of us to take the safety instructions out and look at them. I said I've read 'em already. He said I had to take it out. . Which I did. . Then he said "open it". . Which I did. . Then he said "look down at the page and read it".. It was ridiculous! I said I read it. . .you can't FORCE someone to read. BUT more importantly does he think I don't have a vested interest in knowing how to open the door? If we crash, I want out of the airplane toooo. It totally wasn't a safety thing with this guy, it was a control thing. And it was stupid.

ANYWAY. . .I'm here in Kansas - actually Missouri. . Headed to Nebraska tomorrow for a show and then back home to the heat. But tonight I'm visiting my friend and colleague (he's a comic too) Kent Rader here in Liberty, MO. Kent has 6 cats, so he is close to being a cat hoarder. Here is a picture of me and one of his cats - Ellen - named after Ellen Degeneras.

Facts about Liberty, Missouri:

Þ This is the town where Jesse James robbed his first bank. He made off with 30 bucks - which is the same amount as my first paycheck. JOKING. .. i only got like 20 bucks.

Þ William Jewell College is here - it's a liberal arts college founded by Jesse James' dad - the inventor of doppler radar, Harold Brooks, went to school there too. And we all know how accurate that is!

Þ The liberty jail is here - that’s where Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormons, was jailed.

Þ Independence MO (right down the street) is where Harry Truman's presidential library is located.

Þ A lot of trails started in Independence. . Santa Fe, Oregon, CA trails. .. A lot of people trying get out.

So now you know!

Jan

http://www.comedywriterblog.com/
http://www.theworklady.com/

Traveling on the COLD Circuit!

2011-02-05T08:44:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I'm in Nebraska! And it's COLD. . .though not as bad as I thought it would be. I wore my ugs (are they still in style - i don't care) and it turns out i wished I'd brought my sneakers. My feet are so big (12 AAA) that I can't pack both sneakers and good shoes for the show, so if i wear boots, i have to choose. the good shoes won and the sneakers stayed home. BUT after i came out of the restaurant last night, i really wanted sneakers to work out in, so i popped into a Goodwill and bought a pair. . .Asics or some really good brand for 8 bucks. Now I've got to try to re-pack everything.

Anyway, i digress. . .Nebraska is cold. I was in Buffalo on Monday and it was actually colder. . .got out right before the snow hit. I did a programon humor in communication for 9 people at an offsite event. . .they did a cooking teambuilding thing first (see pic below) and then me. It was fun and it was the smallest group I've ever been in front of. One time i did a show for 12 board of directors and they had me first pretend I was a cheesy motivational speaker. . .I started out with all those horrible rah rah sayings "you know the difference between ordinaray and extradinary? it's that little "extra." get it. . yeah, after a couple minutes, i stopped and said "am i the worst motivational speaker you've ever heard?" They agreed and I went into my comedy act. . .very fun.

So this week is cold. . next week I'm back in Nebraska. . cold again. . .and after that' it's Illinois. . . I'm happy for the work though and am having a great year. Now I've got to run off and buy some new shoestrings for my sneakers - which will probably cost more than the sneakers.

here's 9 fun people and me - cooking!

Stay warm!
Jan

Skiing!

2011-01-17T14:37:00.000-08:00

At the end of the weekend, we're still smiling!

Just finished our annual cousin's ski trip - I THINK this is the 26th year! Half of us still ski while the other half watch videos and eat. . .I split my time between the 2 halfs. We go to WISP in Deep Creek Lake Maryland. . .I know, I know, I fly across the country passing Colorado and Utah to fly in Maryland. it's not just for the skiing, it's for the cousins! We have a blast. The only rule in 26 years. . no kids. Yep, we made that rule on one of the first trips, and it has stuck. Luckily some of my nieces and nephews are old enough to watch the younger ones so the adults are released for the weekend.

Skiing on the east coast can get COLD. . .it was 4 degrees with no wind. . which makes a BIG difference with east coast skiing. I skied on Friday - no crowds and "warmer" than the other days. Then we watched 2 movies. . .Salt with Angelina Jolie was excellent. . .The Ghost Writer with Jim Belushi was not. . just my opinion.

ANYWAY, here's to great traditions. . .and 26 years. . we still look fantastic!

Jan

My New HVAC unit

2011-01-10T08:18:00.000-08:00

So my travels in the past week have taken me NOWHERE. . .which has been nice to stay put for a change. BUT I did get to spend some big bucks on a brand new HVAC unit. AND since I live in a townhouse, the unit is on top of the building. Whenever the HVAC guy says "we have to use a craine to put it on your roof" what he's really saying is "this is going to cost you more money then you would ever want to spend on an HVAC unit." So I tapped the craining of the unit to my roof. . .my 6-year-old nephew Noah will appreciate it - as will any small nephews or boys that you have. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvs4WFAkckE

Make New Friends But Keep the Old. . .

2010-12-10T14:23:00.001-08:00

So i finished my last humor program yesterday - i did my Finding the Funny in Communications keynote for a group up in Sacramento. The program was fun and i even got to do some networking the day before at the Calsae event. I think it was “run into people I’ve lost touch with” week as I met my friend Steve Swafford of Leadership Outfitters at the tradeshow. Steve and I used to speak at ASAE events back when we both worked for associations in DC, and then I moved here to Los Angeles and Steve must be stalking me, ‘cause he moved here a few years ago too. We both now run our own businesses and do business with associations.

THEN the funnest. . .Wednesday night, thanks to posting my whereabouts on Facebook, i met up with my friend Liz (and her husband Lawrence), whom I haven’t seen in almost 35 years! You never know how those reunions will turn out - she could have been wanting to meet with me because she was a member of a cult and was looking for some recruiting points. But no, she’s actually normal and we caught up like we hadn’t missed a beat in 35 years. We laughed a LOT about our girl scout troop and all the camping trips we went on. . .Liz apparently got way too much latrine duty. And I just remember how pointless it felt to spend all day gathering wood to make a fire to spend hours cooking dinner when my mom could do it in like 45 minutes at home while I could be playing. I still am not big on cooking, but I’m trying. Oh, and don't get me started on crafts. . .I HATE them! I like my life right now because I'm not too young or too old, so no one wants me to do CRAFTS! The day the nursing home I'm living in pulls out macaroni, glue, and construction paper is the day I hope I have enough strength left to hobble out in front of a bus. . .

A few things that had changed:

She goes by Liz, not Elizabeth, I go by Jan, Not Jannie
Neither of us can probably fit into our G.S. uniforms - but that’s okay with me. Green skirts and sashes are out of style (like they were ever in style??)
She is outgoing. . .not the shy girl I remembered. I’m a comedian, and she doesn't remember me be the class clown. . .probably because I wasn't. (see my ComedyWriterBlog.com for more on this.)

One of the things we both laughed about the most is how neither of us was in the "in crowd" back in school or scouting - which is probably why we both turned out so normal (apologies to the cheerleaders out there who are normal). AND i found out that her dad worked for Voice of America and she had a very interesting trip one summer. We didn't know stuff like that about each other in G.S. because that's not the stuff you talk about while you're scrubbing the latrines - the conversations centered more around "how come the leaders' daughters aren't cleaning the latrines?"

In my travels I've been fortunate to re-connect with several friends around the country and it's always been a blast. What a great way to wrap up my last event for the year!

Jan

Miami and beyond. . .

2010-11-17T15:09:00.000-08:00


The beautiful FontainBleau Resort in Miami!

So this weeks travels took me to Miami. . .and giving me a whole better feel for Florida. This resort above was GREAT! It too me over 6 minutes to swim from one side of the pool to the other. . .okay, I'm not a fast swimmer, but still, that's a HUGE pool. The ocean was right across the street. .very warm water and a beautiful sunset!

I did a show for event planners and suppliers who get together once a year and meet with each other. . .they were nice, BUT I had to go on while they were serving desert and clearing the dishes. It is pretty tough to compete with that, so I didn't have the show I would have liked. None the less, I got to hang out with the agent. . I've worked for him for a few years but have not really spent any time with him.

The rest of the week finds me here in Los Angeles catching up on work for December. I've got half a dozen things booked, and ironically only ONE is a holiday party. . . usually that's all I book in December, but that's okay because it means I can attend my own holiday parties out here.

Jan

Wearing the SAME outfit as the Secretary of Health & Human Services!

2010-11-13T14:06:00.000-08:00

And yet ANOTHER search compliments of TSA on Thursday a.m.. THIS time it was because I had 15 books in my suitcase. The X-ray machine that is supposed to detect bombs can’t see thru paper. . . this time the guy was nicer and in fact once he found out I was a comedian, he unleashed his inner comic himself. At least he was pleasant.

I did get a good laugh as I got off the Marriott shuttle (cheap valet parking and it’s right next to LAX!). The recording came on “please don’t forget your bags.” Me and the guy next to me exchanged glances and cracked up. . .LIKE HOW WOULD YOU DO THAT???? The only thing you have to focus on on the shuttle is YOUR BAGS. That’s some of the stupidest advice. The person who wrote that script obviously has never traveled!

A 7:15 A.M. flight and the guy across the aisle ordered a bourbon. THEN he brought out a second mini bottle of liquor from his briefcase when he’d finished the first one. Maybe he’s on vacation so I shouldn’t judge.

My show went great, though I wore the EXACT SAME outfit as the Secretary for Health & Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius! Yep, the EXACT SAME. See my comedy writing blog – www.ComedyWriterBlog.com - for the humor that I did in order to get through that. All I can say is I’m glad I followed her. . . she may not have been too happy following me.

This is the jacket! The same one the Sec.of HHS wore yesterday!

It’s off to Miami in the A.M. to the FontaineBleau Resort in Miami Beach. . .should be a blast!

Jan
Jan McInnis
www.TheWorkLady.com
www.ComedyWriterBlog.com

DON'T FORGET TO ORDER MY CUBICLE COMEDY PLAYING CARDS as a stocking stuffer or secret Santa gift! Here's the hilarious 1.5 min video. Order them on my website.

Florida via security strip search

2010-11-10T15:14:00.000-08:00

Omni @ day from my balcony!


Omni @ night from my balcony!

This week’s travel started out with yet another search of my bag at airport security! Ok, not a strip search exactly (as my joke goes. . ."they practically strip search you at the airport. Now I've got to shave my legs to get on an airplane.") but the TSA guy insisted I had the dreaded liquids in there. . .I didn’t. But just to make sure, he rifled thru my bag, ran it thru twice and asked me twice if I had liquids. I didn’t. Okay, forget that pawing thru my bag is a WASTE of time and resources because I travel every week and, oh, I’m not a terrorist, security is ridiculous! These people should not be our first line of defense. ..if someone wants to blow something up, I’m positive they could do it.

Luckily I got to the resort and calmed down… the omni @ champions gate in Orlando. It’s a beautiful place – I’ve been there a few times. . .pics are above.

The group was fun. . .small, but really fun. All women who work in the electrical field. I did my program Finding the Funny in Communications. . . it went over great.

I’m off to Kansas tomorrow. . .the group is having me close the convention. . . the opening speaker was none other than THE FONZ. . Henry Winkler. Darn he was on today, so I missed him.

I’m putting in a plug again for my UNIQUE Secret Santa and stocking stuffer gifts. . Cubicle Comedy Playing cards. These are actual playing cards with some of my work jokes on there along with some work humor. Do you want to know how to eat for free in the office? Check them out! They’re cheap and did I say UNIQUE. Picture is below and the link takes you to a HILARIOUS video (1.5 min.) about how they saved the day for the office. LINK TO FUNNY VIDEO

VA Nurses and a HAUNTED FOREST!!!!

2010-11-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

I'm soooo scared. .into the haunted forest!

Last week’s travels took me to DC to see my family AND perform comedy for the nurses who work in Veterans Administration hospitals. What a dedicated group of people AND nice . . .of course as I pointed out, “of course you’re nice. All of your patients know how to shoot guns!” Okay, what they agree on is that the most dangerous thing about nursing is actually. . . .the hospital food (drum tap please!).

In preparation for the event, I read the book “Best Care Anywhere” - check it out - it’s an easy read and very, very surprising at how far in the forefront the VA hospitals really are! They’re the first ones to do bar coding on the patients’ wristbands to track meds. Yeah, bar codes - the first people to treat patients like they’re a sack of groceries!

VA hospitals ALSO already have an electronic records system. While “regular” hospitals are struggling with this, the VA’s have done it! This dinner was for the foundation and the other thing to support the foundation was to run the Marine Corps Marathon. . .good choice on eating and drinking as opposed to running 26 miles. Of course to a nurse, 26 miles is nothing. . . They walk that in a day!

ALSO, I went to the funnest Haunted Forest on the planet. . . Rated as one of the top 10 in the nation. . .www.MarkoffsHauntedForest.com . . .it’s 30 minutes of being scared toooooo death! MarkOffs Haunted Forest. . . They have a holding pen in which you can do all sorts of games and fun, scary stuff, and they have 2 trails into the forest. Our trail had a “planet of the apes” room, a crashed airplane, and of course, no haunting would be complete without being chased by a maniac with a chainsaw. More video will be up soon, but here’s us getting in the haunting mood!

The rest of the weekend was quiet. . .especially since the Redskins LOST! But so did the Cowboys, so it’s still a happy day!

Jan

www.ComedyWriterBlog.com

See us prepare to go to the haunted forest!

From Des Moines to Jimmy Buffet and women @ work!

2010-10-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

Yes last week I had 2 programs (Finding the Funny in Communications) in Des Moines, Iowa, a Jimmy Buffet concert and then a show in Pasadena (5 minutes from home) for Women At Work. . .an organization that helps women get jobs! I always forget to pull out my flip video BUT i did snap a few short clips below.

Here are a couple of the 250+ people who loved the program in Des Moines. . . I forgot to pull out the camera until everyone had left, so it looks kinda empty, but there really were people there! Facts about Des Moines. . .

It’s the capitol
No one can agree on what Des Moines was named after. . .a river, Indians, or a monks
It’s the number one spot for US Insurance Companies
A sister city is Kofu Japan
The 7th top employer is the U.S. Postal Service

Here's a 26 sec clip from happy clients - I forgot to pull out the camera until everyone was mostly gone. . dang

Then I hit the Jimmy Buffet concert on Wednesday night. . .Here I am enjoying the show:

He has a degree in History (my communications degree doesn’t look so bad)
He’s originally from ALABAMA, not Florida like we all think
He was a friend of Jim Croce’s
He’s married with 3 kids
He produces his own beer. . Landshark Lager (see me on the car!)
He’s estimated income is 100 million a year!

And FINALLLLLY I did a show Saturday night, with some other comedienne friends, for Women At Work in Pasadena:

They help thousands of women get jobs
They offer all sorts of classes. .
They’re a great organization. . check out their website link (click on women at work)

A VERY fun week. . .off to D.C. this week for less than 48 hours. . enough time to take any nieces and nephews to the HAUNTED FOREST. . .i know Abigail will go. . .who else dares???? oh, and I have a show at a banquet in Crystal City Thursday evening, then back on the plane. . .

Jan

Radio Interview!

2010-10-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, no travels this week! My cats are happy. I did do an hour long radio interview today about getting into comedy and writing, etc. . . the link is below. . .I start in about 10 minutes into it.

Have a great weekend!

Jan

http://womenarenotfunny.com/jan

Advantages of Working in a REAL Office!

2010-10-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, this post (below) is one I sent to a guy who told me to write it. . then never got back to me. Even the blog world is filled with rude people! BUT, now I'm posting it here since I'm not traveling this week. . .

Im off the road, so no road pics - enjoy one of my cat begging!

So I’ve been running my own business (yes, being a comedian is a business), for about 15 years, and every so often someone will comment about how great it must be to work out of my home making calls in my pajamas with my cat on my lap. Yes it is, but with casual Friday – and pretty much every day being casual, plus companies allowing pets at work – those benefits are getting less exclusive to home office workers. In fact those of you working at a “real office” have some real advantages over us. Here’s how I see it. . .

Office workers get. . .
Tech support – I miss tech people. . .not for their great conversation or fashion advice, but because they could fix my dang computer without me having to decipher an Indian accent. If my computer doesn’t work after rebooting and I can’t figure out what the guy in India is saying, my only other option is to smash it against the wall. So far that has never fixed the problem.

Cheap Therapy – The good news about coworkers is that most of them are fine to chat with, but you don’t really hang together outside work. Soooo, since they’re not involved in your personal life yet they know all the players, they can pinch hit as therapists. My cats are only good listeners if I’m holding a treat.

Food – When I walk in my kitchen, no one has magically left donuts on the counter, no one had a staff meeting with leftover goodies and no one brought in a specialty dish they made at home. Granted some of the office “treats” should be avoided, but sometimes you get to taste truly unique cuisines, and at least once every week or so you could score a free sandwich from a meeting. Which brings us to. . .

Committee meetings –Sure I once sat in a 6-hour, 3-day session to determine the name of the company’s website, just to have the executive director, who didn’t attend the meetings, trash our ideas and name it himself. But overall, committee meetings gave me a chance to learn about areas outside my expertise AND interact with people in other departments (albeit sometimes it was just twirling my finger around my head making that “he’s crazy” motion, behind the back of the person who called the meeting).But a networking and learning experience at least.

Saving money - While I save on gas in my commute, my electric, home gas and water bill have taken up the slack. I can save a little by keeping my place colder, but if your boss made you walk around in a parka, because he wanted to save a buck, I’m sure there’s some federal agency you could report him to and win a big lawsuit.

A great parking space – at my last “day job” I worked in the heart of downtown Washington, DC at Dupont Circle. It was a great area AND my company subsidized the parking. Sure I had to pay a little, but whenever I wanted to go out on the town after hours, I had the building pass code and a space. . .sweet!

So enjoy all the perks you have for working in a “real” office, and now you can feel sorry for those of us left at home . . .sort of.

Jan
Jan McInnis
www.ComedyWritingBlog.com

6 cities. . .lots of travel!

2010-09-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

Grapes that we stomped @ the winery

I luv Southwest airlines. . .after my sister mentioned Tuesday morning that the DC area was expecting major storms today (Thursday), the day of my flight, I was able to change my flight LESS THAN 15 HOURS OUT FOR ONLY $18 BUCKS! I could not have done that on any other airline. . .did I mention that I luv Southwest.

So my friends and I did some wine tasting over the weekend at the Gainey winery in Solvang, CA. . .very fun and HOT. I think it hit over 100 degrees – luckily there was plenty of chardonnay so I didn’t pass out. The party was fun – we got to stomp grapes, pick grapes, and drink grapes – I got the next 3 weeks, 5-fruits-a-day servings in a 5 hour party. Solvang is where they filmed the movie “Sideways” at, it’s near Santa Barbara and unfortunately most people miss Solvang and head to the more well-known Santa Barbara. Solvang is about 90 minutes from me, so it’s an easy day trip or overnighter. I had a membership at some of the wineries, but they couldn’t tell me when the monthly wine was being delivered – and invariably it would happen while I was on the road, and the wine would sit for a couple days. I still drank it, but I decided it was too much hassle, so now I just visit and buy a bunch there. I also live less than an hour north from Temecula – another great, not well-known wine town, and it’s where my friends and I (most of the same ones who were with me this last weekend) went up in a hot air balloon last summer. We had wine AFTER that.

This past week took me all over the map to 5 different cities, 6 if you count the winery, and I’m now in Washington, DC. . .show at the Hershey lodge - (you know, where they make Hershey's chocolate) later this week AND a chance to visit my family.
A few tips on chocolate:
--it was discovered 2,000 years ago in tropical rainforests
--the first people known to have made chocolate were ancient cultures of Mexico and the Americas
--chocolate comes from the Cacao seed and in ancient history, it has been used in religious ceremonies

Jan

Whales and Bats Oh My

2010-09-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

It's like I'm at the zoo! I might see some bats in Austin this week. There's like 1.5 million of 'em that live under a bridge and fly out each night looking for food. I guess I'm okay, as long as i wear a hat (what's the urban legend about bats getting tangled up in blond hair???)

Also went whale watching on Friday. . .we saw liek 24 or 25 whales. . about 5 or 6 miles off redondo beach. They are blue whales, and here's some things I learned about them:

The baby blue whale gains liek 200 pounds a day. . .sort of like me on vacation
If you see 2 whales swimming together, the female is in the lead and the male pretty much does what she wants him to.
There were once hundreds of thousands of blue whales and now it's down to like 10,000.
Seeing them 4-6 miles off shore is unusual. . .that's a little close in.
Don't throw up in the captain's boat. .lean over the rail.

Luckily, I didn't have to do that last one. Okay, this week I'm in Tulsa, OK City, Austin, Atlanta, Solvang, and San Jose. . whew! The Bats video is here. . .very cool.. . Enjoy!

Jan

Jan Goes To Pennsylvania

2010-09-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

Martins Potato Roll Factory in PA - yum!

Fun show this week for the good people of Franklin county. I met at the HQ for Franklin county first off, and right next door was the MARTIN’S POTATO ROLLS factory! YUM. I love those rolls! it brings back my memory of the tour I once got at the Little Debbie Snack Cake Factory in Arkansas (McKee Foods!). After peeling myself away from the factory, I headed over to Gettysburg for a very quick tour of a battlefield. I don’t know why they say the troops had such rugged terrain – there were PLENTY of paved roads. Okay, stupid joke – I did not use it in the show. But I did see plenty of Gettysburg addresses. . .. stupid joke #2.

One of the biggest “discussions” in Adams county (home of Gettysburg) is whether or not to BUILD A CASINO. I am not kidding. The guy who owns the Harley dealership apparently wants one – I THINK he owns part of a hotel there. You know, that’s what I remember my history books telling us – that our forefathers fought for our right to double down at black jack and shoot some craps.

I enjoyed the town and the people in Franklin county. . .their big issue in Franklin is where to put the courthouse – in the middle of town, or 2.5 blocks away! I think you walk farther in a Target store. And speaking of Target, the Target Distribution center won the award for best large business of the year. The center is massive. . they said it used 25 miles of concrete to build the store. . .

White tail ski resort won an award for small business of the year – I’ve skied Whitetail. It’s just like skiing in Denver. . .if Denver had ICE. But you know you aren’t really a skier until you’ve mastered ice – skiing.

The party was fun, the people were great, and most important of all – we got out in time to watch the Minnesota Vikings – New Orleans Saints game. I think N.O. won, but I fell asleep and then got on a plane so I’m not sure.

I’m home for the next week. . .yipee!

Jan

PS could we have the health experts please stop telling people to walk up and down the aisles during flights. Currently there are 2 kids with their parents walking/running up and down the aisle of my Southwest flight. This is annoying. It’s only 1 hour in and we’ve got 4 to go.

Fashion Sense From a Non-Fashion Woman

2010-09-08T17:32:00.000-07:00

Every time I think I’ve seen the worst T-Shirt ever, someone trumps it. Today at LAX (that’s Los Angeles international airport for you groundlings), I truly have found the winner of my new “the worst T-shirt ever” contest (I said worst, not wet). A young clueless guy (shocker!) is wearing a black t-shirt with 2 arrows. One arrow is pointing up (to his face) and it says “Mr. Right”. . .the other is pointing down (to his crotch) and it says.. .are you ready??? “Mr. All Night.” Ahhhh, I need to toss acid in my eyes now - How about a 3rd arrow – “Mr. Fright!” And the kicker is he HAD A GIRLFRIEND. . . or at least some woman traveling with him – girlfriend, sister, probation officer – whomever she is, she is also at fault for being seen with him which makes him think that his shirt is totally appropriate. I made a list of things I’d rather do all night (rather than be with him) and they include pouring acid in my eyes and being put on probation - combined. I can only hope the guy is LEAVING Los Angeles, headed to his hometown where that shirt fits in – though I’m not sure where that shirt fits in.

Okay, that’s my insightful observation of the day. I’m headed to Pennsylvania to have some fun with a Chamber-of-Commerce type group tomorrow night. I’ll be near Gettysburg and right near Breezewood, pa. . .A town most people breeze thru because it’s only 3 blocks long and has 72 marts (mini and shoppers) crammed into it.

Jan

New Technology Hotels!

2010-09-03T08:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, i'm going to get back into chatting about my travels AND all the jokes I do for the group. . .here's from last week!

Did a show last week for a technology group in Vegas. . VERY FUN. These people are the techy people who work in law firms. . .talk about a job that’s 24/7! But they all seemed to have a good sense of humor about their perpetual on-call status. As I said to them –

you’re IT people and you work for Attorney’s? Could you pick 2 more stressful professions. . .what do you do for relaxation? Diffuse bombs! (No, wait, that’s what you do for your JOB!)

They had 160 educational sessions. . .my college (Virginia Tech) didn’t have that many classes!

I’ve actually done a lot of shows for lawyers groups. . .they always talk about their community service. Not sure if it’s court-ordered or not. One group said their big community service project was doing for free wills for low-income people. .. how hard is that? “do you own anything?” “No” “Okay – done!”

I actually like some of the legal terms. . .Paralegals – that’s someone who’s got TWO lawsuits going!

Anyway, many fun jokes even on into the night as I also emceed their awards program. When giving out the award in the vendor category, I noted that the judged determined this award winner was the company who gave out the best candy at their exhibit booth. M&Ms are okay, but if you can pony up with some Reeces Peanut Butter Cups, you could be getting a plaque!

The group was at the Aria hotel. . .Aria is Italian for “$20 hamburger”. . .true – about the hamburgers anyway. The hotel was all techy too. . .you can set your alarm on the TV so the TV turns on, the lights come up and the blinds open to welcome you into the new day. And at night, you can hit one button and the whole room shuts off so you can sleep.

Okay, that’s my report for comedy travels last week. . .on to Atlanta this week!

Jan

Maids in Hotels!

2009-12-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

see my diet coke. . .it's exactly where i like it!
Letter to the maid
I got to talking with a friend last month about maids in hotels. We both travel quite a bit and we ended up making a list of things that bug us. I know being a maid is a tough job, HOWEVER, they see their job from the standpoint of cleaning the room, not living in it, so there are some things that might make perfect sense to them, but not to us. I’d love to hear from maids on why they do these things – maybe there’s a very good reason. But for now. . .

Leave the drink on the floor. I put my diet coke or bottled water on the floor next to the desk for a reason – I don’t want it on the desk next to my laptop. Move it to clean only, and then leave it on the ground. I once knocked a beer over on my brother’s laptop and it drowned.

Look up. Twice in the last 5 months there has been a used washcloth (from a previous guest) draped over the top of my shower, and I spotted it once I got in. And this happened in NICE resorts. Not that I expect this in cheaper places, but when the client is paying bigger dollars, this really, really shouldn’t happen. I’m tall. I see this stuff.

Leave the soap/shampoo/conditioner in the shower. After I’m soaked is not the time to realize that my hair stuff has been moved across the bathroom. I know it looks prettier on the counter, but it’s more functional in the actual shower. I put it in the shower the first time I shower; it should just stay there.

Don’t clean the room until you’re sure I’ve checked out. Again, this has happened in really nice resorts. On the day I’m checking out, I leave the room for my morning show, knowing that I’ll have time to grab my stuff and check out afterwards. When I get back, I find that the maid has cleaned the room for the next guest. That’s gross. I just hope I’M not the next guest when that happens to someone else.

Don’t touch the shower head. Most of the time it’s turned towards the wall – which makes no sense, but on a few occasions, it’s been turned towards ME. Getting a shower before I step into the shower isn’t fun. I haven’t moved any of the showerheads in my house for YEARS, and yes I do clean them. Also not closing the drain would be helpful. . .but I digress.

Pay attention to the Do Not Disturb sign. This is a stock joke, but it really, really happens! At least twice a year I get a knock on my door despite the sign. One time I actually pointed to it and said I didn’t want to be disturbed, and the maid said (disinterested voice) “but do you want service?” YES, just not right now.

I know there are many things that us travelers do that bug the maids. . .write about it here. And maybe it’s management who should take note because perhaps some of these things are company policy. But most of them are easy to fix and shouldn’t take approval from corporate.

Jan McInnis is a comedian and professional speaker who has shared her humor keynotes “Finding the Funny in Change,” “Finding the Funny in Communications” and “Cubicle Comedy” with thousands of associations and corporations. She is also the author of “Finding the Funny FAST,” and she was featured in the Wall Street Journal as one of the most popular convention humor speakers. She can be reached at Jan@TheWorkLady.com or 1-800-492-9394.

2009-11-24T04:38:00.001-08:00

The Clampetts I’ve seen!

The airline employees have a name for the summer/holiday travel season with all these novice travelers – they call it “The Clampett Season.” Named after Jed and his family – the backwoods hillbillies – who didn’t quite know the rules in their new environment. I’m traveling today, and saw many Clampetts. . . don’t be one of ‘em when you ride on the airplane!!!!

The Salmon-Clampett. This is the person who puts his bag 4 rows BEHIND him on the plane, and then, when the plane lands, he pushes backwards (upstream if you will) while the other 119 of us are going forwards, to get it. The Salmon-Clampett will usually exacerbate the situation too by getting his stuff, and then pushing back through everyone to get back to his seat. . .even though he’s leaving the plane so it’s really not his seat anymore and he should now just stand back with his stuff. The Salmon-Clampett is the most annoying of all Clampetts.

The Gym-Rat-Clampett. This Clampett is getting his entire work out by doing pull-ups on the seat in front of him thinking it’ll count as exercise. Okay, older folks and those with disabilities may be excluded, but anyone under 70 who wants to stand up, should do so by using their arm rests and a little leg muscle. When Gym-Rat-Clampetts yank on my seat, it spills my wine. That makes me cranky. (Oh, and the same goes for leaning on seats as you’re walking down the aisle – that doesn’t count as doing pushups!)

The Clothing-Clampett. I overheard a woman today saying how she had to pull out 9 pounds of stuff from her suitcase to repack in her friend’s suitcase because she was over the 50 pound check-in limit. Come on! How many people did this Clothing-Clampett hold up? She needs to remember the golden rule of travel. . .EVERY TOWN HAS A STORE. You don’t have to pack every single thing in your closest because you MIGHT need it. I once traveled around Europe with an American friend and her Swiss friend. My friend and I almost got hernias from what we packed. . .her Swiss friend carried just a purse. I learned.

The Tantrum-Clampett. Seats are allowed to recline. Period. If you have a problem and need the person in front of you to keep their seat up, you need to be an adult and say something – NOT just kick the seat and throw a tantrum. I once had a guy kick and shake my seat for 30 minutes. I finally turned around and said cut it out. He told me his femur was broken and would I put the seat up. I said if he’d have asked me that ½ an hour ago I would have. But now since he kicked the seat for 30 minutes, it ain’t happening. In fact I told him that I’ll keep it back for 30 more minutes. Every time he kicked it, it was another 30 minutes. The woman next to me started laughing, and I cracked up too. I said I know, that’s childish. She said she was laughing because she saw my eyes closed, and my head bouncing against the seat, and she thought that I was the funniest sleeper she’d ever seen. She now realized why my head was bouncing! The guy didn’t like my 30-minute kick-free policy, so he finally got a flight attendant to move him, but he could have saved the hassle by just being an adult and explaining to me his problem. There is no law about putting the seat back, so stop throwing a tantrum when someone does. Ask nicely if you need a favor.

There are many other Clampetts out there, but these are the most annoying ones (to me anyway). Do yourself and your airline neighbor a favor and don’t be a Clampett.

Jan
Jan McInnis is the author of Finding the Funny Fast; how to create quick humor to connect with clients, coworkers and crowds. She can be reached at www.TheWorkLady.com

2009-11-06T13:08:00.000-08:00

And the bad jobs continue. . .
Yes, I have several jobs that I should never have said yes to, such as . . . INVENTORY TAKER.

As an inventory taker, you go into stores at night after they’ve closed, and count all, and I mean, ALL of the items in the store. This is for end of year records or tax purposes or torture …something like that. They “sell” you on taking this crappy job because they say you’ll have your days free to interview for a “real” job. What they forget to tell you is that after you’ve spent 18 straight hours counting magnets (because you stay until every piece of lint in the store is counted), you rarely ace a job interview the next day. Hence you create a really nasty cycle of counting marbles, sleeping through prime interview hours, and then counting marbles again.

And the job sites were never near my house, so I had to carpool with other lint-counters by meeting them at a spot off the freeway after 10 p.m. . . . like a drug dealer only drug dealers were looking forward to their jobs. We then would drive 50 miles away to some Mart store with a K or a Wal in front of it and get our assignments. And, as I said, we stayed until everything was counted. I learned a few things at that job. One night I was counting a huge bin of marbles or safety pins or something when one of my fellow bad-job-choice-makers (aka colleagues), said ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I’m thinking, what do you think I’m doing, there was only one job task listed on the want ad – counting. He then taught me the word “guestimate.” That’s when your eyeballs do the counting; which is much faster than your fingers and gets you back to your car parked on the freeway much faster. . . hopefully before the drug dealers steal it.

I hated that job, though one night as we were all leaving, one of my fellow commuters told me that she really hated to wish time away because we’re only on this earth so long. . .I agree, however some parts of time, like store inventory, really aren’t worth remembering. I lasted a few weeks at that job. . . because of that whole, work-sleep-miss-the-job-interview cycle I mentioned where I just couldn’t get out to interview for another one. But alas, one night I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I stood up my fellow commuters and the only thing I counted that night was sheep in my sleep. This was not one of those jobs where you give 2 weeks notice. I did go in and get my last pay check though, and the boss asked me if I would be showing up to my scheduled stores and I thought for a nanosecond and said, “naw, I think I’m done.” She didn’t bat an eye, I think she was used to it.

Yep, another bad job down, many more in my future I’m sure. Recently at one of my shows, the winner of my bad job contest is this guy in the video:

Jan McInnis is the author of Finding the Funny Fast; how to create quick humor to connect with clients, coworkers and crowds. She can be reached at www.TheWorkLady.com

2009-11-01T09:40:00.000-08:00

Weird Jobs!!!

I love my job because I get to learn all about other careers that are out there. Most people stick with one or two industries their whole life while I get to sample hundreds. And one of the funniest things I do during my comedy show is to ask people what their worst job was. We’ve all had ‘em. Those jobs you take just so you can put SOMETHING on your resume (we told ourselves it shows “initiative”) and/or pay the rent (what’s more humiliating than a bad job is moving back in with mom and dad).

One of my most hideous jobs was right out of college, when you just don’t know any better. There was a new term floating around called “marketing.” And I naively thought that all marketing was the same. . . direct marketing, marketing director, TELEMARKETING. You can guess which one I wound up doing. Now, when they don’t tell you the product in the help wanted ad, that means it’s something people don’t want to sell over the phone. In my case, it turned out to be selling sides of beef. My parents were out of town, and I thought, oh, won’t they be surprised that I got a job while they were gone – I’ll be all grown up! So I went for it!

After taking my pulse, the HR woman announced that I had aced the rigid interview process (okay, she just looked at me and saw I was healthy – true!), and she led me to my “office” … a conference room with other fresh college graduates who looked like deer in headlights too. The HR woman, who then morphed into my boss (she was a multi-tasker), told me they had qualified leads . . .then she handed me the phone book. I guess back in the 70’s she estimated that most of Northern Virginia ate beef, hence the phone book held thousands of qualified leads.

That first day I only had one old man interested in my beef; I talked him out of it. I asked him if he knew just how much beef that was – an entire side of a cow! Turns out he was just lonely and wanted to talk . . . which was fine with me because it kept me from having to dial those “hot” beef-eating people leads.

But that day I learned, as my joke goes, that beef is not something people buy over the phone. People aren’t sitting around their house saying, ‘hey, honey, we’re out of beef, I wish that girl would call.’ I lasted 6 hours, which gave me seniority!

I really did only last six hours. I did one 4 hour day (short days so as not to burn you out). Half way through the second day (I can’t believe I went back) me and another beef-seller took our regulation 15 minute break to go to Roy Rogers (I still don’t know why we went to a roast beef restaurant on our beef break???). Cutting through the parking on the way back to Beef Headquarters, I saw my car. I don’t even remember acknowledging the thought – my sub conscientious took over and I made a sharp left, leaving my new co-worker behind, as I GOT IN and sped awayFAST.. .just in case he reported me and my boss morphed into company security and came to track me down. I think she still owes me like $29 dollars for the hourly wage (lucky for them they didn’t owe me any commissions). I had just had my first real work experience within 36 hours and had gotten hired and quit before my parents got home.

I realize that telemarketing still has a usefulness for some people – I know a broke comedian who took a telemarketing job when his phone was cut off so he could make long-distance calls to get booked.. but telemarking is just not for me.

But it’s still fun learning about these wacky professions through my current job. And I now have a fun “worst job” contest during my show and it’s a riot. Apparently there are worse jobs than beef telemarketer.

One of the winners this week was a. . .. . . .see the short clip below. She survived and told me later that her boyfriend at the time (who’s now her husband) cleaned the mall bathrooms. Ya never know where that weird job will land you!

Stay tuned for more of Jan’s job adventures – either present (through the eyes of her audience) or past (she’s had several).

Jan McInnis is the author of Finding the Funny Fast; how to create quick humor to connect with clients, coworkers and crowds.

2009-08-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

Here I am at the Tallahassee Chamber of Commerce event. . .I'm hanging with the Capitol City bank logo at a party!

USING HUMOR APPROPRIATELY FOR BUSINESS EVENTS!So I’ve been doing comedy for convention crowds – corporations and associations – for over 10 years now, and I keep getting asked about what is appropriate humor.

Soooo, as I give one more try to start this dang blog, I’m going to focus this series on appropriate humor: what is not appropriate, topics to stay away from, how to craft it, rules for using humor, why it fails and what to do when the humor doesn’t hit. This should take me well into 2012! Yeah, no more trying to figure out my blog topics. Of course I will also divert a bit and blog about my various travels, just for fun. My first entry, today, will begin with. . . drum roll please. . . what is not appropriate humor for business events. I’ve got half a dozen things that are not appropriate. I’ll address a couple today, a couple later in the week, etc. . .you get the idea.

I started out doing comedy clubs and bar gigs. I realized it was time to stop doing bar gigs (clubs are still fun) when I walked into a bar gig 10 years ago, and the owner took one look at me and blurted out “you ain’t got any of them thinking jokes do ya? My jokes were not appropriate for his room. Time to move to a more appropriate venue. . . the convention market!

With that said, jokes for business groups (whether you’re a comedian or just want to sprinkle your talk with some funny) are a different animal, and you need to make sure your humor is appropriate. And sometimes, the reason a joke is NOT appropriate for the convention group may not be obvious. I did a show for 500 blind merchants once, and what’s the first thing as a comedian you want to say when you’re standing up in front of 500 blind people. “HEY, I’M NAKED.” Well, they didn’t want me to say that, and not for the reasons that you think – Most people think you shouldn’t say it because it brings up a ghastly visual for them – even if they can’t see me, there really are very few people you want to see naked. And some people may think you shouldn’t say it because it seems a little mean spirited. Actually they didn’t want me to say it because They’ve heard it all! The client said there is not one single blind joke you can tell or think up, that we have not heard. Don’t say it. Which meant even if I thought of the wittyiest, cleanest blind joke on the planet, it would not have been appropriate for this group. Sometimes the reason the joke is not appropriate is not apparently obvious.

First off, remember that corporate humor is more than just “taking the F word out.” You shouldn’t cuss EVER. I don’t even say the word “crap” because I don’t want to go there. You must at least do that. But also, in my opinion (which all of this is, by the way), I’d stay away from the three hot beds, Religion, politics & sex – pun intended, unless that’s what they hired you to speak on, and or they know you incorporate those subjects. Even if you cover all sides of politics and you have fun with all of the religions on the planet, unless the group specifically hired you knowing that that’s what you’ll joke about, I’d stay away.

AND, even if it’s a group that you think you can get a little racier with, like “good ole boys, ” don’t. I did a show for contractors and it didn’t go well (I’ve had a lot of shows for contractors that DID go well. . this just didn’t). Afterwards the president leaned over to me and said “these are contractors, you should’ve done some D__ jokes.” Ironically I was following a speaker who talked for an hour on how contractors need to change their image from good ole boys to professionals. I told the president that I don’t want to offend anyone in the room and if I bomb doing clean humor I can tell the client (and the agent who booked me) that it wasn’t a good match. If I kill (meaning rock the room) doing even a couple dirty jokes, but just one person complained about the humor, then I can’t defend myself.

So be wary of doing jokes about sex, religion and politics in the corporate setting.
Another thing you need to pay attention to when using humor is the industry climate. Be sensitive to jokes about what’s going on in the industry. For example, you may have heard that the meetings industry has taken a hit for having lavish meetings, so they are VERY concerned about their image. A few years ago you could joke about the lavishness of the meetings because it was funny. I used to joke about it by saying things like “I know your theme is XYZ. You call it XYZ because you can’t get a tax write off by calling it the “drinking and golfing” convention. There’s not so much drinking and golfing going on right now, and even if there is, don't go there. It's very sensitive. AND be sensitive to the audience’s industry. I did a show for the staff of banking groups last year and I could joke a little about the mortgage crisis (“don’t we all miss the good ole days when you could get a loan by flashing your library card”). These were staff people, NOT bankers. If they were bankers, I wouldn’t have said that joke at all.

Stay tuned for more tips on appropriate humor in future blogs!

Check out my book. . . Finding the Funny FAST; how to create quick humor to connect with clients, coworkers and crowds.

Check out Jan's website: www.TheWorkLady.com

2009-04-19T14:55:00.000-07:00

Following Susan Boyle
By Comedian Jan McInnis

So like the rest of the planet, I am a huge, huge fan of Susan Boyle – the unassuming woman who took to the stage on Britain’s Got Talent last week and literally blew away the judges, the audience, and now the Internet community. In fact, the only person who was probably not thrilled with her performance had to be the guy or gal who followed her. While she was knocking ‘em dead onstage, I’m guessing that person was getting nauseous backstage.

As a comedian who cut her teeth in comedy clubs before moving into the corporate and association arena, I’ve had to follow a few Susan Boyle-ish acts in my time. It’s scary. But we figure out how to follow crowd-pleasers because it’s a part of the gig. And the techniques we use to switch the audience over from THAT show to OUR show can be used by anyone else who finds themselves walking up to a microphone right behind a show-stopper. Whether you’re a speaker, a sales person or a CEO, you WILL find yourself having to follow a great act some day, so here’s some ammunition!

Make a reference between you and her. Some people will tell you NOT to mention the person before you, because you’re figuratively bringing that person back “on stage with you.” Maybe. But my experience has been that if the person is so awesome, they’re probably still on stage with you, anyway. Considering that, you need to segue from them to you by finding a way to reference them and include yourself. If I was following Ms. Boyle, I would’ve made a quick list of what the audience liked about her. . .her voice, her attitude, her song, her wowing the crowd. And then I’d look at what she and I do and don’t have in common. This would give me a great line to bridge to my act. . . ”Well, that’s nice, but that was the song I was going to sing… Now what?!” or, “I’m no longer concerned about winning this contest, I just want to be her opening act!” Say something that acknowledges her talent but also brings you into the equation. Simply saying “let’s have a hand for So and So” is not a good reference because it doesn’t involve you.

I’ve had to follow many big name acts, most notably Michael Richards, Kramer from Seinfeld (pre-meltdown days). At that time, he was walking onstage to standing ovations before he even opened his mouth. When I came out, it was sort of like “who the heck is Jan McInnis?” Attention-wise, they were still back at Richards. So I had some fun with his character by complimenting it and making a connection to me. “Didn’t you all love him as Kramer on Seinfeld? He was so goofy. He reminded me of every blind date I’ve ever had.” It got a good laugh and offered the audience a way to focus on my act.

Say what the audience is thinking. In my upcoming book, Finding the Funny Fast, one of my tips to develop quick humor is to put yourself in your audience’s shoes and say what they are probably thinking. It’ll release tension and give you a nice transition. So what is one of the biggest things people were probably thinking when Susan Boyle’s follow-up act came out? If I were following Susan, I might’ve kicked off with ”I’m guessing right now, NOBODY on the planet wants to be me!” Aside from laughs, that line would probably get a little empathy, and more importantly, bring the audience on my side (they certainly didn’t want to follow her either!). . of course, then it’s up to me to shine. So make a quick quip about the audience’s thoughts, again, adding yourself in, and you’ll give yourself a leg up.

Run your own race. . . Be yourself. Don’t change your style to try to match the energy or the humor of whatever went before you. You have to be YOU. That’s why we like Susan. . .she is the real deal. You can bet she would have had that same performance regardless of what the act ahead of her did. I once followed a guy for a week at a comedy club who told me that he wanted my headlining job. . .and then he proceeded to get the audience riled up into a frenzy with dirty jokes and high-energy humor; in other words, pretty much everything I am not. At the end of the week, he came up to me very frustrated and said “I’ve thrown everything I have at them and you’re still able to follow me. . HOW???” I said “why don’t you just do your own thing and forget about ‘getting’ me.” And that’s my advice to you. Focus on what you do best; that, in turn, will allow you do well. If you’re good at what you do, the audience will like you and key in to what you’re doing. When I was featuring in clubs, I hardly ever blew the headliner away, but I still became a headliner myself because I did my thing and offered a great show; soon enough, the club owners saw it. I tried not to pay attention to how good or bad the other acts did. Remember you’re there for a reason, so take the pressure off yourself and just have fun. At the Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, over the doorway that leads from the green room to the stage, some comic has carved the words “make them come to you,” and that’s exactly what you need to do.

Be Nice. And as always, when making a comment about your predecessor, be nice. That sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised how many times people say something about the person they’re worried about and have it come out bitter. My joke about Michael Richards focused on his goofy character, not Richards. If I’d said Richards was goofy, I probably would’ve lost the crowd. If you don’t want to be funny, be SINCERELY flattering, or at least make a sincere comment, like the one I offered about wanting to be Susan’s opening act. Trying to get ahead by making others look bad almost always blows up in your face. And don’t put yourself down, either. Self-deprecating humor is a good way to make a quick joke, but not in this instance, since you’re already starting from a disadvantage.

There are, of course, many other techniques you can use to win the audience over and get them into you, but these will get you started. Use them well enough, and some day you’ll be so good you can pass along some advice to the poor guy following YOU.

Jan McInnis is a comedian and professional speaker specializing in comedy shows and humor programs for corporations and association. She has performed for hundreds of organizations and has also sold material to radio and TV, including The Tonight Show monologue. Jan was featured in the Wall Street Journal as a popular convention speaker. She can be reached at Jan@TheWorkLady.com or 1-800-492-9394

2008-12-16T12:16:00.000-08:00

Unspoken Rules For Booking A Comedian

Comedy is the easiest form of entertainment - no music, complicated lighting or dancers involved. But, it can be the hardest IF you don't pay attention to a few details. As veteran comics working the convention circuit, here are our suggestions for things to pay attention to:

No moats. The performance will lose its intimacy if you have a dance floor between the comic and the crowd. Laughter is contagious.

You can't laugh with your mouth full. Never have the comic go on while the audience is eating. They must be focused and

No bad news. Don't stick the bad news right before comedy. It's awkward to expect people to then "lighten up" with laughter.

The bigger the name, the less control you have. You may pay 50K+ for Eddie Murphy, but don't think you'll be able to tell him to customize jokes for your group or cut out the blue material.

Check your timing. Comedy clubs put the comic on late because the audience is there specifically for comedy. Conventioneers have already had a full day, so they're tired. Start no later than 8 or 8:30.

Comedy builds. Don't break up the act by having them do it in parts. Or, if you're having two acts, keep them one after the other.

Get our completes list of 24 No No's For Booking Comedy by contacting us - Frank@WhiteCollarComedy, or Jan@TheWorkLady.com

2008-04-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

Below is an article I wrote that describes some of the fun things I learn while doing shows for corporations. I research the company, take tours, and interview employees. I learn some really cool stuff about all sorts of things. . .

WOOD IN MY GRAPE NUTS?
By Comedienne Jan McInnis

Okay, maybe not Grape Nuts, but wood is used in lots of stuff, including some cereals! And Cellulose is not the reason I don't wear a bathing suit, it's actually a part of the wood. These are some of the millions of facts that not only make me great at cocktail party conversation, but give me unique comedy material for shows like the one I did for the Virginia Forest Products. As a comedienne, I've learned about industries from mushroom growers to dry bean manufacturers, as I research the clients to customize the show. Sure my act focuses on my past crazy jobs, BUT I also get to find out about other people's crazy jobs. . . which makes me feel better about my crazy job.

Like alfalfa seed producers who rely on leaf cutter bees to pollinate the flowers that make the alfalfa seeds, which are sold to the growers who grow alfalfa for the farmers to feed it to their cows and bring us steak. I learned all about it at, you guessed it, the Alfalfa Seed Growers convention. Having a tough day? Just try paying a mortgage based on getting leaf cutter bees "in the mood." It's big, big, serious, serious business.

Now if you're looking for a seeing-eye dog, may I suggest the women's prison in Topeka, Kansas. Yep, that's where many of them get trained. My tour during the Kansas Correctional Association conference revealed that the best prisoners, (an oxymoron?), get to train a dog . . . I'm guessing to beg, rollover, and fetch the guards keys?

And had I not taken the plunge into comedy 10+ years ago, but rather kept my safe marketing job, I wouldn't know that a valve on a nuclear reactor will last 30 years, or that the first type of anestisgiolgy was actually chloroform. Chloroform??? No wonder our grandparents preferred their own "do it yourselfer" surgery.

Oh, and if you run out of booze at your next party, go ahead and tap into your gas tank. They're now making fuel out of corn liquor. . .I'm not sure if it's really drinkable, but it will get your guests to leave on time.

And to pay for the party two days before your paycheck clears, don't write a check. The Federal Reserve went from processing 1,000 checks a day in 1970 to 70,000 checks an hour now. Your check could clear before you leave the parking lot.

The stuff I learn makes the show a lot of fun for the group AND for me. Plus I now know to plant Centipede grass on my lawn, the grass on the highway median strips, because it grows slower than other grass. . . and if I'm having an appendicitis attack, I won't go to the hospital until the week of March 4th., because I'll probably get better service during Hospital Patient Safety Awareness Week.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR. . .
Jan McInnis, The Work Lady, is a corporate comedian and comedy writer who has performed at hundreds of private events. She was recently featured in the “Wall Street Journal” as one of the “popular convention comedians.” Jan also sells comedy material to radio & TV daily, and she can be reached by emailing Jan@TheWorkLady.com

2007-04-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is my FIRST attempt at blogging, I know, I'm a little behind. . the good news is, I'm behind the rest of the planet because I've been working a ton. . . now it's time to learn about this technonlogy. I'll be doing recaps of my show, both present and past, that I do for corporate clients.

I just had a great show for Administrative Professionals Day in Overland Park, KS. It was put on by Johnson County Community College, Center for Business and Technology. 370 women and a couple guys. . .really fun group. For all of my shows, I do customized comedy where I interview the group, and sit in on their sessions. . . then quickly write some jokes for them and jump on stage. I had about 10 minutes worth of jokes. . .you can hear the edited stuff on my website. . www.TheWorkLady.com. . click on the the "customized audio button." Some day I'll figure out how to put the audio clip up here. . .

Anyway, back to the show, they had a great sense of humor, and I was able to have some fun with the stuff they had learned from other speakers. For example, there was a group from Quintiles Lab there. "Quintiles Lab - That's a great place to work, especially if you've got a teenager. You can send them off to school and tell 'em - have a good day, and remember , mommy works at a drug testing lab."

Hear the jokes I wrote for them at: http://www.theworklady.com/content/view/27/39/

The group was a blast! And I got a great comment from the client who said. . ."Wow! I don't know where to begin. We loved you! You were fantastic for our group. I dont' think anyone expected to be laughing so hard at the end of a long day. Your act is beyond hilarious."

Jan McInnis, The Work Lady

Jan@TheWorkLady.com